Keep your hot takes about Cincinnati chili to yourselves. C.J. Uzomah will have no part of them if his Bengals win the Super Bowl.
The tight end who has starred in his Super Bowl media sessions let perhaps the greatest guarantee this side of Joe Namath slip during his Thursday press availability.
"You put it (Skyline Chili) in a swimming pool and I'll dive in there and eat my way out," Uzomah told reporters when asked what he'd do if Cincinnati took home Super Bowl LVI.
Cincinnati-style chili has been an internet lightning rod for many years, occasionally mortifying those unfamiliar with the dish upon first glance. Skyline Chili is the go-to restaurant and producer of this chili (which can also be purchased in cans) and describes its signature staple -- known as the 3-Way -- as a "steaming spaghetti covered with our original secret-recipe chili and topped with a mound of shredded cheddar cheese."
The visual and its effect on a viewer's appetite likely comes down to their opinion of cheese. It's certainly a mound, if not a mountain, but Cincinnatians will passionately defend the entree for perhaps no reason other than the fact it is their own. There are additional avenues to liven up the dish, too, with diced onions or beans making it a 4-way, and diced onions and beans making it a 5-way.
Three ways, four ways or five ways, there will be only one way for Uzomah to celebrate securing the Bengals' first Lombardi Trophy in the franchise's history: a swan dive into a pool of the Cincinnati delicacy.