Because if Ochocinco were to start paying off fines, even though the NFL won't allow it, fans in New England would want him to pay for other things, like the cost of a ticket to see No. 85 get shut down by Darrelle Revis.
You know, it is too late. Just thinking of it got my mind working on some players and teams that could pay me back for some of the labor, money and heartbreak that they caused. So, here are six people who can open up their check books and start appropriating some funds that they rightfully owe me.
And without further ado …
6. Dieter Brock
Mr. Brock, you owe my father two weeks' worth of lawn mowing. As a young lad, my father and I took turns mowing the lawn. My dad and I made a lawn-mowing bet for February 1986 based on the 1985 NFC Championship Game. Thanks to Brock and the L.A. Rams, I lost that bet. Ron Brown can do the edging.
5. Jerome Bettis/Eric Dickerson
Mr. Bettis and Mr. Dickerson, I owned your Los Angeles Rams jerseys at one point, so you each owe me $74.99 because I have discarded both of them since each of you said that the NFL should not return to L.A. Bettis said it to my face! Thankfully, I did not splurge on the authentic jerseys.
3. Jim Everett
Mr. Everett, I became a serious card collector in 1987, hoarding and saving lunch money, allowance and cash from odd jobs around the neighborhood to buy cards. My biggest investment was your rookie card (Topps No. 145). I still have a 100-card lot of these in my garage if anybody is interested.
2. Kevin Dyson
Mr. Dyson, you owe me 1 yard. You were 1 yard away from possibly keeping the Lombardi Trophy out of the hands of the late St. Louis owner Georgia Frontiere. You tell me, Mr. Dyson, how can you put a price on that? Tell me!
1. Jack Lambert
You know what you did, Mr. Lambert. Your fourth-quarter interception in Super Bowl XIV kept the Los Angeles Rams from winning the team's first Super Bowl.